and though bugs are the bane of my existence, rest assured the wretched thing will get the best of care here

Version API

Introduced in GitLab 8.13.

Retrieve version information for this GitLab instance. Responds 200 OK for authenticated users.

GET /version
curl --header "PRIVATE-TOKEN: <your_access_token>" "https://gitlab.example.com/api/v4/version"

Example response:

{
  "version": "8.13.0-pre",
  "revision": "4e963fe"
}